I really have to include this interesting video in my blog before talking about one particular person whom I had just briefly mentioned about in the previous entry.
Let's learn a somewhat big word today: caterwaul (pronunciation: kat-er-wawl)
–verb (used without object)
1.
to utter long wailing cries, as cats in rutting time.
2.
to utter a similar sound; howl or screech.
3.
to quarrel like cats.
–noun Also, cat⋅er⋅waul⋅ing.
4.
the cry of a cat in rutting time.
5.
any similar sound.
Here's a video of how I might sound like should I ever accidentally run into a particular old cat whom I used to report to at work- with a conversation content that's completely different from the one shown in the video below, of course! (except for the swearing and castrating part)
Quite a number of my friends keep asking me why I keep putting up really strange holiday photos in my Facebook account- mostly photos that don't include the presence of vain human posers, but that of really strange objects, buildings and scenery...
No need to keep wondering why I keep uploading such photos for you people to look at. Such an unexplainable and peculiarly amazing trait somewhat runs in the family, and is especially apparent in one person whom I shall call "Uncle J".
Uncle J is one strange person who likes to crack really lame jokes wherever he goes. Sometimes, his jokes are not funny at all, but everyone still laughs- not because the particular joke is funny, but because he just looks so funny laughing at his own joke that it's just too funny not to laugh at him laughing...
But then he's pretty cool because he taught me how to ski and also fall down everywhere while skiing.
Here are a few pictures taken during his holiday- all pictures taken from his Bali holiday album:
Palm frond in Bali
Tree branch in Bali
Guess what in Bali
Palm tree in Bali
Without telling you where those pictures were taken from, he'd show you a picture and ask, "Guess where this picture was taken?"
"Where?" you'd ask, evidently confused with what you've just seen in the picture.
And then he'd just nonchalantly say, "Bali, hahahahahaaaa..."
Right. Very funny.
But then, the reason why I came up with today's story is not because I want to talk about Uncle J. This is only an introduction to another more interesting story.
In my next blog entry, I will talk about Uncle J's very interesting nephew. The nephew who left his homeland as a young boy and then grew up to become one of the most talented and creative people ever to be hired by the likes of TIME, Asiaweek, and Newsweek (and National Geographic too, if I'm not mistaken). The boy with a name which many from his homeland have never carefully paid attention to, but have somehow encountered many times before in many places...
Here’s a picture that I took while running around at a park…
Yes, I ran after kangaroos. They were so cute and adorable. I felt really sad because many kangaroos were killed in the Australian bushfire earlier this year :(
Remnants of former greatness
And when I told my father about me making friends with kangaroos, he got scared and scolded me- because kangaroos might go crazy and suddenly beat me up or something. But then, most fathers would get worried over just about anything.
A few days after that, I forgot about those cute and adorable kangaroos that I met at the park and decided to have a kangaroo for lunch… OK, just part of the kangaroo, though...
KANGAROO
I was so happy to have ordered something so exotic for lunch… :)
I also sometimes think that many of the Caucasians whom I had met outside Malaysia are somewhat more civic-minded than my own people. But then, I tend to contradict myself unknowingly by saying things that don’t really make sense (that crazy old man whom I used to report to at work taught me that!)…
Here’s another "contradicting myself" incident that’s really not worth mentioning after this…
“Oh wow, this place has got such a nice view!” I enthused over the restaurant where J and S brought me to.
Campari is located next to another restaurant called “Waterfront”. You could take a stroll along the jetty outside these two restaurants and also take pictures of whatever you want to…
Here’s a picture of what J and S ordered for tea-time...
I forgot the name of that rice dish. Next to the rice dish are those things called “tapas”, a great dish for small-eaters.
At the table, J and S joked about me finding a handsome “gwailo” and settling down outside Malaysia.
While happily munching away on tapas, I defended myself by saying, “Oh, no! Of course not! They’re hairy and smelly, hahaha!” and then proceeded with my happy tapas-munching ritual.
J and S laughed along.
A few seconds later, I felt a sudden chill run down my neck. For those few seconds, I had to slowly recover from that weird reeling sensation in my mind.
I momentarily forgot that I was actually having foreign food in a foreign country, in a restaurant where I was surrounded by “gwailo” customers and waiters! *HORROR!!!*
“Hairy and smelly? Did I just say that?” I asked myself, “Why am I always saying such crazy things?”
I didn’t dare turn around to look at the people sitting at the table behind me.
For the next few minutes, I merely kept quiet while continuing to enjoy snacking on whatever I could find on the table.
I could only pray that the people around me had not paid attention to what I had said. And I could only hope they had misheard me saying “hairy and smelly” as “Harry and Sally”.
Yes, Harry and Sally, my two good friends, whoever they are…
Thankfully, life went on as normal, no one got injured in the restaurant, and everybody lived happily ever after.
When we left the restaurant, I took this picture…
Whoever those people were, I hope they have a great sense of humour if they ever find out about the picture above.
*This is just another nonsensical blog entry right before I publish the main story by year-end*
My mum has a good friend whom she’s known for the past few decades of her life. Aunty L, being the caring person that she is, decided to “borrow” a few of my pictures from my house. She even took a few snapshots of my other photos using her camera phone. What she did after that was show my pictures to her other relatives and her nephew, Mysterious Guy. I’m locking up all of my things at home after this. Throwing away the key as well.
Mysterious Guy lives in another country. Aunty L gave him my email and “ordered” him to write to me.
For the first few weeks, Aunty L kept asking me if I had received any news from Mysterious Guy:
“Any email from him yet?”---------“No…”
“Any news?”--------- “No…”
“So has he written to you?”---------“No…”
No, no, no! Aaugh, leave me alone!
Aunty L seemed more anxious and excited than I was.
After her thorough investigation, Aunty L told me that Mysterious Guy couldn’t manage to email me because my email was not functioning, so could I please provide her with my email once again. That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard in my entire life as a human being. Why didn’t you let Aunty L know about this complication earlier? There’s nothing wrong with my email, unless if you had typed in all the wrong letters due to illiteracy.
I woke up one day to check my email, and there it was- the first email from Mysterious Guy. So I guess Aunty L finally managed to convince Mysterious Guy to write to me. Yippie, hooray…let the chaos and disorder begin…
Hombre Misterioso- who is he? What is he?
We corresponded a little bit (i.e.: just one email from him and another from me). He told me that he used to live in “Subang Jaya, which is in Selangor state”, as if I didn’t know where that place was, and as if I was some kind of picture bride from a remote, war-torn country who’s never heard of the name “Subang Jaya”.
A blonde once said to me, "Hi, I'm from Tennessee. By the way, Tennessee is in the United States..."
Wow, really?
Anyway, I decided to look for him through Facebook. Yup, he just started a Facebook account when I found him there. So the correspondence went on (i.e.: second email from me)…
JG’s email excerpt1: I've just added you on Facebook.
Mysterious Guy confirmed my Facebook friend request.
JG’s email excerpt2: No picture of you on Facebook?
Mysterious Guy’s reply: I am actually not too familiar with facebook. However I can assure you that I am not a ugly bald fat guy. Quite the opposite.
Quite a complex answer, I think. Reading through his emails once again and piecing together the basic details about his life somehow made me suspect he’s been suffering from a long-untreated disorder, which is no laughing matter at all. For a person at his slightly advanced age, I’m not sure how this situation can be remedied.
Another alternative possibility could be that Mysterious Guy was actually a dangerous drug lord who's only pretending to sound spastic and harmless through his emails...
After that, insane JG stopped writing to Mysterious Guy- I'm saving two people from eternal damnation on earth, you see. He never updated his Facebook account with anything else either after adding only two friends.
The average human being has about 250 friends. That was possibly another tell-tale sign of that disorder because he only has two Facebook friends- me and another pretty girl whom he had added first. No ex-classmates, ex-colleagues, ex-lovers or anything else on his fantastically empty Facebook page.
A few months after that, Aunty L came over to my house for dinner. She asked, “Why are you not writing to ****** anymore?”
“Oh, I’m just, well, busy…” I said, giving Aunty L the most popular excuse in the world for not contacting someone.
Fine, blame me for breaking Mysterious Guy’s heart. I get blamed for everything, including an active email address that supposedly could not function. Fancy getting blamed for everything in the world for the rest of your life if you were to marry him…
Oh no...
I don’t even know how Mysterious Guy looks like until today. Pretty unfair since Aunty L made such a nice compilation of my photos to be shown to her people located in almost every little village city in the world.
Matchmaking does not work for people like me. I tend to want to mess things up, throw firecrackers around, or something like that- not sure why; maybe I'm bored...
Riddle me this, riddle me that,
I’m quite the opposite of ugly, bald and fat.
What am I?
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(Scroll down for the answer, and oh my goodness, the first two sentences in the riddle actually rhyme!)
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Bloody hell, as if I care. There are too many other things in this world to be worried about- for example, that poor puppy in the video below...
