It’s nice to receive Christmas greetings from friends. This only goes on to show that people still remember you. But it’s not nice at all to receive a Christmas greeting from one of your friends on Christmas Day, only to have her inform you the very next day that her father had suddenly passed away.
The numerous weddings that I had attended and heard about this year had so far been interrupted with three shocking news of former schoolmates’ parents passing on. It’s that part in the circle of life which you would rather pretend never existed.
These people who had passed on were still too young to so suddenly end the journey of their lives. They had witnessed their children grow up and graduate from universities, but yet to witness any of them get married… yet to experience the joy of being first-time grandparents.
There are not many other people out there just like Diana who constantly remembers to cheer people up despite the various difficulties she has to experience on a regular basis.
Diana likes to play pranks on her friends. When I saw her message, “My father just passed away”, I almost wished it was just another one of her silly pranks. But it wasn’t.
Diana’s my childhood friend. She had so happily wished me a “Merry Christmas” only the day before her father died. She sounded happy and cheerful. But what she didn’t tell me was that she had wished me “Merry Christmas” while freaking out at the hospital, worrying about her father’s deteriorating condition.
While sitting next to Diana this morning, she told me a story of the many Christians from different churches who regularly visited her father at the hospital to pray for him. Her father accepted the message that those eager church-goers had shared with him. She joked about her mum’s comment on how her father had suddenly become “hot property” being crazily fought over by various different church groups to share the Gospel with him.
She may be grieving, but Diana was still her usual cheerful self. She kept on telling jokes all the way while I helped her fold “hell bank notes”. She was surprised to see me trying to improve my paper-folding skills, but I don’t think there’s any sentence in the Bible that says, “Thou shalt not help a grieving friend do origami”.
Although, in Western eyes, Hell Bank Notes may look like toys or superstitious items, there are considerations concerning the use of Hell Bank Notes that some Chinese people take seriously.
Talking about “hell bank notes”, I once told a funny guy to “Go to hell!”. Was I being too mean? This married-church-leader-with-children actually did put himself through hell soon after, but through his own undoing by stalking a very young girl who’s not his daughter nor wife.
I sometimes think it is more worthwhile to help a true friend in need, regardless of religion, rather than a seemingly religious one with peculiar hidden fetish and fantasies.
“I think I’ll join the choir for Christmas this year. I’ve been away from church too long,” the little kid who brought me to church said enthusiastically.
I just rolled my eyes and said, “Well, if you want to, that guy over there is the person in charge of the choir,” as I pointed towards one cocky-looking son-of-God who reportedly earns a monthly five-figure salary…
It felt strange to be once again sitting in this church where Grandma used to preach in. She spent the most part of her life in this church- one of the first lady preachers ever in this town; a lady once disowned by her Buddhist family more than half a century ago for her conversion to Christianity.
At one stage in her life, Grandma transferred from Church A in Town A to another church (Church B) located in another town (Town B) to continue with church work and preaching.
During the later part of her life, Grandma returned to Church A once again. Because of her earlier transfer, her church membership was still registered under Church B in Town B when she returned to Town A, and she never thought about transferring her church membership again (from B to A) because Churches A and B were under the same Methodist category- same church family, same same, no problemo. She loved church and God with all her heart and soul, this lady preacher who was once disowned by her Buddhist family because she was no longer one of them.
When she passed away in Town A, the Church-People-in-Power said, “Because she died in Town A while her church membership was still registered under Church B located in Town B, we have to charge RM 5,000 for her burial plot in Town A. If she had transferred her membership from Church B to Church A, it would’ve been RM 50…”
I’m not too concerned about the difference between RM 5,000 and RM 50. I’m more concerned about the fact that this lady preacher who spent her entire life serving in churches had been subjected to such treatment just because she wasn’t registered as an official member in the church where she used to serve in for more than a decade; almost like saying, “Because she’s not one of us, she does not deserve any special rights.”
Not one of us
That incident reminded me of a somewhat similar incident I once went through. A friend had repeatedly suggested that I join a particular church orchestra for its much-celebrated annual Easter play: “Go ahead and ask! I have a friend who’s not even from that church but she joined as an orchestra member also! Should be no problem.”
So I asked. And the lady-in-charge cheerfully said, “OK, let me ask first if you can join since you’re not from our church. I’ll call you back.”
Cheerful lady didn’t call me back. When I asked again, her reply was, “As said, only people from our church can join.”
As said? Who said? Why did I even bother… Perhaps that friend who managed to join the orchestra happened to be related to the orchestra leader or they were probably dating(read:Nepotism).
It is also widely believed that church leaders are supposed to project clean lifestyles and images, just like Tiger Woods and Bill Clinton.
I was completely floored and left in a complete daze, literally speaking, when I recently learned about a certain Boy’s Brigade committee member who was caught stalking a female college student, texting and calling the girl in the middle of the night… But he was let go with only a mild warning because he is close buddies with the top man in the committee (read: Cronyism).
Not that different from that middle-aged pastor who once kept disrupting my peaceful life at night, sometimes way after 11:00 p.m. or when I was happily watching “Desperate Housewives” (Read this if you want to). But then let’s move on to another story…
“You’re a Christian Fellowship (CF) Adviser. I can’t understand why you don’t know the difference between ‘sermon’ and ‘sharing’,” so said this Son-of-Pastors to me.
So, the sensitive female in me reacted: “What the hell?!”
And thus said this Son-of-Pastors in return:
You cannot justify being rude to people just because people are being rude to you first! That is very childish and unchristian like behaviour. I expect that kind of talk from a 5 year old non christian kid! But surely not from you! I expect better than that from a CF advisor. Surely this cannot be a very good example to set for the CF members! Weather other people realise that they have done wrong or not is not your job!!! It is between them and GOD! You only have to deal with your own behaviour!! Let God judge them (me)! If you judge or react back, it only bring judgement back on yourself! I consider myself a very patient person and I rarely go all out to kill someone's reputation! So pls don't test me and force me to sin against God!
If my reputation gets all bashed up after this, just look out for this Son-of-Pastors.
Hurts like hell…
In recent months, I had learned how to separate any church speaker’s credible sermon/sharing from his/her personal life and personality.
It’s the same as to how one were to separate a person’s talent from the person him/herself: Enid Blyton’s literary skills separated from the fact she was an “evil mother” and “wicked wife”; Oscar Wilde’s amazing writing talent from his decadently gay lifestyle; and bloody Tiger-in-the-Woods’ golfing prowess from his bedroom exploits.
It’s somehow easier to accept a person’s talent/skill as it is when you view that person as nothing but an empty vessel with something plausible to display…
So this little kid walked towards thatcocky-looking son-of-God who reportedly earns a monthly five-figure salary, lightly tapped his shoulder and asked about joining the Christmas choir.
I stood far away from Little Kid and Mr. Cocky for I already knew what the answer would be. I merely wanted this little kid to realizethat not all church-goers are the cute, innocent bunnies and puppies they portray themselves to be. Some church leaders tend to behave more like underground cult leaders.
Little Kid walked away from Mr. Cocky. I just thought Mr. Cocky wasn’t exactly giving Little Kid a good impression of himself- his body language reeked of all things la-di-da, the kind of behaviour I wouldn’t want Little Kid to copy as the years go by…
“What did he say?” I asked Little Kid.
“He said they’ve already practised,” Little Kid replied. (JG’s translation: “No. Get lost.”)
It’s three weeks to Christmas. I suggested to Little Kid that he call up another church because I was very sure this other church under a less draconian management would accept him since he was so eager to be involved in a Christmas church performance this year.
So Little Kid and I drove out from Church A, the place where Grandma used to live in.
You believe but what you see?
You receive but what you give?
