Yes We Can

I love it whenever my country makes it into the world news. Loved it when Jimmy Choo, Ling Tan, Michelle Yeoh and Zang Toi made it big out there in the world. Makes me feel so proud of my country everytime I see sentences such as "So-and-so is a New York-based Malaysian fashion designer", or "So-and-so is a Malaysian fashion designer based in London, United Kingdom". My country has so many talented people!!

My country also recently made it into a popular British daily. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that huge icon for me to click on to bring me to that particular news article about my country...

I thought news of Shirley's chain-smoking habit was just gonna stay within the confines of those Malaysian dailies and not go viral all the way to the UK.

Picture above: Shirley's gobsmackingly awesome picture published by The Star on 2 May 2011. Shirley's smoking style could rival those that of her fellow primates of another kind...

Picture above: "Fellow primates of another kind"

The news from UK's The Daily Mail begins with "A trip to the zoo should fill any animal fan with a sense of joy wonder, but in Malaysia the experience inspires revulsion".

Did you see that? Huh, huh? Did you see my country name?

"Crocodiles struggle in waterless enclosures while lions and tigers are trapped in boxes barely big enough to house them, leaving no room to roam around".

There's also another sentence in that article that says "The government-run zoo in Johor Baru has erected a 'no smoking' sign but that will do precious little to stop the sad practice while attendants turn their backs on it".

Psst, Daily Mail Reporter, whoever you are. I've got news for you...... Monkeys can't read "no smoking" signs, especially those who ride on cheap motorcycles and snatch handbags from innocent women.

If you type "snatch theft" in Wikipedia, you'll be directed to a Wiki write-up that gives special mention to Malaysia. I've uploaded that page here in case someone edits that page after this for certain censorship purposes.

I foresee a budget of RM100 billion very soon to renovate and beautify these zoos- RM10 billion for each zoo. It will be a large-scale 10-year plan with renovation and construction taking place simultanesouly at all 10 zoos. Upon completion, zoo visitors will get to visit and play in the most high-tech zoos in the world. Launching date: 20.2.2020.

It seems a new law was passed last October for our zoos to "clean up their act" in 6 months, but when the deadline passes, "there will have been shamefully little progress made".

"The government makes promise after promise. They never keep any of them, but I will hold their feet to the fire until they do." (Sean Whyte, Nature Alert)

Sean Whyte, you're da man!! Good try though.

My girl, Shirley <3

Roc & Roe

The past whole week had been quite eventful.

Prince William is finally married. From the cute little boy whose late mother had doted on him so much to this almost-bald gentleman that he is today, the journey of his life has been very interesting thus far. Can’t wait to see how his kids look like (might not be too long a wait).

I can’t believe Osama bin Laden is dead… again. I thought I read from somewhere that he died 10 years ago. Nevermind. Whatever. Not like the world is getting any better with him dead and gone. Just don't want to hear that he's suddenly alive and well somewhere out there a few years from now- like some kinda predictable Hollywood movie trilogy with the superhero hailing from the United States of A.

I also can’t believe Mariah Carey just gave birth to twins and named them Moroccan Scott Cannon and Monroe Cannon. Not surprisingly, a few creative ‘uns out there soon came up with cute nicknames for those twins: Roc and Roe, Mor and Mon (MorMon).

If you Google for the word "cannon" through Google Images, you also get to see pictures of cannons and the Cannons (Mariah Carey and hubby) appearing on the same page. Not sure what images will appear if you key in "Moroccan Cannon" (I don't want to know).

I’m just glad she didn’t name her twins Moroccan Carey-Cannon and Monroe Carey-Cannon.
“Cannon to the right of them, cannon to the left of them, cannon to the front of them”- that’s taken from the poem, ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’, written by Lord Alfred Tennyson. That poem almost put me to sleep back in high school.

If I ever have twins next time, I’ll probably name them Malaysian and Mahathir… <3 <3 <3

Clockwise from top left: 1. Transformation towards a High-Earning Developed Country: Budget 2011; 2. "WAH! 10" comic book with cute cartoons explaining Malaysia's 10th Development Plan thingie; 3. Red button badge nicked from someone in the army during a Career Fair to recruit brave, young soldiers (he freaked out when I asked him for that badge); 4. Barisan Nasional- souvenir book with nice pics printed on glossy paper; 4. "Report Corruption"- huge almighty car sticker that can be seen from 1 mile away (get your "Report Corruption" car stickers from the nearest airport- FREE!!).

Picture above: Last page of the "WAH! 10" comic book. Kindly ignore that SUBWAY tissue paper on the right.

Picture above: List of contents page of the "WAH! 10" comic book. The story starts with 3 boys- a Malay, Chinese and Indian- visiting the Malay boy's father. Kindly ignore that strange-looking pink Beanie above the comic book.

Picture above: Two pages from the "WAH! 10" comic book depicting the wonders of Malaysia, its government and its people. Kindly ignore those two extra items above the comic book.

Back to Mariah's Moroccan Cannon:

Moroccan: Hi, I'm Moroccan.
Gustav: Weird. You don't sound Moroccan.
Moroccan: No. I'm African-American. My name is Moroccan.
Gustav: You're confusing the hell outta me. Are you from Africa, America or Morocco?
Moroccan: I'm from America, but my name is Moroccan.

Gustav: I know that already. My name is German, Gustav. What is YOUR name?

Moroccan: My name is Moroccan.
Gustav: Moroccan for what?

Moroccan: What?

Gustav: What does your name mean in Moroccan?

Moroccan: How should I know? I'm American.

Gustav: Look, buddy. Just tell me your name!!!

Moroccan: IT'S MOROCCAN!

Gustav: I DON'T CARE IF IT'S MOROCCAN! TELL ME WHAT IT IS!

Moroccan: IT'S MOROCCAN!!

Gustav: I DON'T CARE!!

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

- The Charge of the Light Brigade, Lord Alfred Tennyson

For Women Only!

Oh my gosh. I’m blogging again. Must be due to boredom. Or the sudden impulse to write really ridiculous stories that not many people would want to read about.

There’s a certain country out there that has got so many insane perverts living and breathing in it that the People in Authority have had no choice but to declare that all express trains MUST have at least one coach specially designated FOR WOMEN ONLY.