Chinese New Year 2010

*I’m not exactly done with that story about one sick college that gave me hell during my postgraduate years there. I’m still trying to make the story sound a bit humorous, but it’s kinda difficult when you’ve been so badly bullied by the college employees there not too long ago. That story should be up after this entry. I’m just going to talk about red, scarlet stuff today.

I’m not exactly a big follower of Chinese superstitions. But sometimes, certain superstitions and taboos might just cause one to chuckle in delight due to the humorous nuances associated to them.

Who would’ve ever thought that round and oval windows in ancient China were associated with whorehouses… It’s true, I’m not kidding you. I just read an article about this and was kinda momentarily surprised.

I also know of one person whose house is always bedecked with lots and lots of red lanterns throughout the year. And more red lanterns could be seen outside this person’s house during Chinese New Year. This lady’s so totally into ushering in luck and prosperity. Besides, RED is always the “numero uno” lucky colour one should wear during Chinese New Year.

Many households may hang red lanterns above their threshold to usher in good luck for the coming new year. But while these exotic-looking lanterns may be suitable during the festive season, they are supposed to be removed after Chinese New Year. Why?

Because…

Red lanterns used to be hung by brothels in ancient China to announce the nature of their business! Hence, the term “red light district”- if you haven’t been told about this story yet.

Talking about red lanterns, the colour red has been associated with prostitution for millennia. A Bible story had Rahab, a prostitute in Jericho, aid the spies of Joshua and identified her house with a scarlet rope. Nevermind the complete story about Rahab, Jericho and all. Just focus on the scarlet-coloured rope thingie from that story. We’re talking about red, scarlet stuff today.

The colour scarlet is usually linked to not-so-nice things. A “scarlet woman” would either mean a “prostitute” or an “immoral woman”. Do read about “The Scarlet Letter” too.

There is one particular woman whom I would love to refer to as being an insane scarlet woman. I visited her family for Chinese New Year this week for the purpose of showing that I still care about her in spite of her pathetic, grumpy demeanour. She’s never nice to her foreign maid.

While attempting to carry on with a normal and smooth-flowing conversation with this insane woman, her foreign maid walked into the living room with three glasses of rose syrup, coincidentally something red, or perversely scarlet.

Perhaps this insane woman had been torturing and abusing her foreign maid too much. So much torture and abuse to the extent that this maid could possibly had been feeding the whole family with tainted food and drinks all this while…

…because as I was halfway through drinking the rose syrup, I saw something resembling a fingernail floating somewhere below the glass. And it wasn’t my imagination at all. I know what I saw.

I immediately started praying… Oh blimey… What an amazing, red hot Chinese New Year. Rose syrup with floating fingernail…

Just be nice to your foreign maids. Otherwise, you’d end up having mysterious foreign body parts and secretion dropping into your food and drinks when you least expect it.

Red envelopes or “ang pows” are one of those things kids and strange people like me look forward to every Chinese New Year.

Last year, my parents took me to visit the family of Mr. and Mrs. K in a quiet little town. My family has known this couple for the past many decades. They’re a lovely old couple. And I got a little “ang pow” from Mr. and Mrs. K, much to my delight.

This year, my parents took me to visit Mr. and Mrs. K again. I was thinking about my little “ang pow” all the way during the journey. What a greedy pig JG could be sometimes…

When we arrived, my jaw almost dropped. I saw many people in white T-shirts sitting outside the residence of Mr. and Mrs. K.

“Mum, what’s going on?” I asked.

Everyone knew about Mr. K passing on just a few days ago, except for me. No one told me anything because everyone assumed that I had already been informed about it. I felt slightly relieved as I had worn a white blouse on that day. You’re not supposed to wear red clothes to a funeral as it is considered a taboo. I didn’t even know I was supposed to be attending a funeral wake that evening. Geez.

Prohibited during funerals

A few days before Mr. K passed on, he had already been very ill. All of his family members had come back for the usual Chinese New Year family reunion.

“No, I don’t want to leave you yet,” Mr. K had told Mrs. K a few days ago (they’re both 90 this year).

What Mrs. K told her late husband really got me feeling all mushy and sad: “You’re going through a difficult time. You’re not feeling well at all. Your children and grandchildren have all come back to see you because they’re all on holiday now. Don’t make them leave the house and then have them come back again very soon when you can’t hang on anymore. Just let it go while they’re all still around…”

So he did.

Sigh.

This year’s Chinese New Year is just totally different from that of previous years.